Bad idea?

I’m starting to wonder if keeping a blog as part of my dissertation was a bad idea. I have lazy tendencies when it comes to writing regularly. I thought keeping a blog might help counteract that fact; instead, my Catholic guilt bubbles over in multiple writing sites. . .

My husband and I saw Julie & Julia last night. . .love Meryl Streep! And Stanley Tucci! But the whole point here is that Julie Powell’s blog in the movie, The Julie/Julia project, epitomizes what many people (including me) think a blog should be: what it should look like, the appropriate voice (though a bit annoying, if I am honest about my initial response), the appropriate length for each post. Why can’t I do that? With this blog? Why must I try so hard to be so clever and seem so deep-thinking here, when I constantly vacillate between making this blog completely private and making it public (though hidden from search engines)?  And why am I, somebody who would like to be a writer and somehow became known as a writer by my colleagues, so incapable of writing? Anything interesting? On a regular basis?

Is it possible to become so narcissistic that the thought of sharing that narcissism via a blog makes one cringe? Or am I just ridiculously overestimating the minuscule audience I know I don’t have?

And don’t even get me started on the dissertation writing. . .whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?